


Only you

by supernaturalgirl85



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Kisses, Love Confessions, friends with benfits
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 06:11:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13452183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturalgirl85/pseuds/supernaturalgirl85
Summary: Dean x Reader  - Friends with benefits was all you had with Dean . You kept telling yourself that you were fine with it. But  try telling that to your heart.  So you  try to back off and save the heartbreak  you knew would come with saying anything to Dean.  But will he let you go that easily...





	Only you

You rolled over on your stomach sliding both arm underneath your pillow. You turned your head and watch the steady up and down of Dean's chest in the dull evening light of the motel room.  
His eyes were close and he was breathing deeply . It was rare to see him this relax and you soaked it in. Maybe he would stay tonight maybe you would fall asleep next to him and wake up next to him.  
But that little hope was short lived. You watched as he took a deep breath before sitting up and swinging his legs off the side of the bed.

You watched the muscles in his back as he reached down to grab his clothes. You wanted to say something anything . But you didnt .  
He pulled his shirt over his head before turning to you " we should head out early tomorrow " he said "Ok I will be ready " you said forcing yourself to remain calm and relaxed  
This lasted until he closed the door behind him then you buried your face in your pillow and let the tears go finally

******************************  
When this thing between you and Dean started it had been like a dream come true for you at first. You had been harboring feelings for the older hunter for a while . But you never really thought he would look your way .

That was until one night after one too many beers Dean leaned in and kissed you . Kept kissing you until you were underneath him on the bed .  
He looked down at you asking you softly with each kiss along your neck if this was ok. You responded with kisses of your own letting him know it was  
You treasured every moment the kisses the touches. So when he finally rolled off of you onto his back next to you . You were still riding your high when he sat up and started pulling back on his clothes.

Before you could ask he was turning to you and explaining how this should be kept simple. You wanted to ask why but you didn't .   
So when two weeks later he kissed you again you went along with it. Enjoying it while you could.

**********************************  
At first you though you could handle putting your emotions aside . You were an adult that could handle a no strings attached affair .  
You knew after two months that you were quickly losing the battle to your feelings and you had no idea what to do about it.

On one hand you knew you couldn't say anything it would freak Dean out and you lose whatever relationship you had with him.

But on the other hand you couldn't keep falling into bed with Dean. It was getting more and more painful and difficult to act like this wasn't bothering you.  
You knew that Dean would never have feelings for you. How could he ? You weren't the prettiest girl out there or even the skinniest . 

You were a decent hunter but that was only because your father had figured you wouldn't be good much else . God only knows how many times he told you how worthless you were how no good you were.

After 18 years of hearing the same thing over and over again you couldn't help but believe it. So even to have Dean's attention just for a little while was more than you though to ever ask for .  
But still you knew that this was wrong it felt wrong. So you decided that you should pull back put a little distance between the two of you .

Just until you could get your feelings under control. Then you should be ok.   
So next time Dean lean in to kiss you a week later after you made your decision you pulled back

He paused and looked at you confused.. You gave him a small smile.. " Not tonight " you said slipping out of your seat and grabbing your beer.

You walked away before he could say anything else. Your heart pounding away in your chest . You settled in a corner of the bar to finish off your drink  
You watch with a heavy heart as a girl took your spot beside Dean and leaned into him that caused Dean to smile. 

You sadly watched as Dean pulled the girl out on the dance floor and into his arms . You sigh and finish the rest of your beer in one swing .  
You decided to head back to the motel and call it a night. You pulled your phone out and text Sam to let him know you were back at your room.

yes it was painful but you knew you were doing the right thing . It would get easier with time.  
**************************************  
"What is going on ?" did I do something to make you upset with me ?" Dean asked a week and half later . He was standing in the doorway to your motel room.   
You had declined going out to the bar after you guys had finished up with the case. You had been curled up in bed with your laptop with a movie. 

But here he was looking at you confused and far more tempting than he had the right to.  
You sigh " No you didn't do anything wrong " you replied " I just didn't feel like going out " you replied 

" No what I am talking about is us .. " he said " us ?" you looked at him in surprised. " There is no us " you said frustrated . " We get together when we are lonely that it " you said  
He frowned "That not all it was " he said softly. You shook your head. " yeah it was " you replied "Friends with benefits " we never really talked about it but that was what it was . "  
" So now ?" he asked " we are still friends but I can't handle any more than that" you told him 

You hope he would let it go . But you weren't so lucky " You don't want .." he trailed off looking like he was lost in thought. 

" Look we both want to two different things out this " you said " I know you are not looking for a relationship and I am not going to push something into something you don't want ."  
" But I am finding myself needing more " you told him truthfully knowing it was better to get it all out. "So I just need to back off and collect my thoughts " I will be fine .. We will be fine " you said.

You sigh.." You probably should go.. " you said softly waiting for him to turn and leave. But he didn't he just stayed standing there looking at you with unreadable eyes.  
"Dean ?" you said softly his eyes raised up to meet yours and surprised you by taking a couple steps inside your room and shutting the door behind him .

"Dean what are you doing ?" you asked heart taking off in your chest . " I don't want you to back off.. " he said not taking his eyes off you. He kept getting closer and closer.  
" I have to " you replied trying to take a step back from him but he was reaching out and wrapping a arm your waist before you could get away .

He pulled you closer pressing your body against his. You wanted to pull away but you had miss his touch that you allowed yourself to relax into him 

"I am sorry " he said suddenly taking you by surprise ."For what ?" you asked "For making you think that you were the only one feeling something " for making you think that you were the only one that wants more. "

You stared at him trying to figure out where this was coming from. He reached out to brush some hair out of your face letting his fingers linger against your cheek.  
He was so close and you were so tempted to just lean in. But you held yourself back .. "Dean please " you said softly " you can't mean this ." you replied 

"Why ?" he asked "Why cant I mean this .. " You shook your head " you're not looking for something serious " you replied " I have known you for years and you gone from one girl to the next "   
" I am not saying that wrong or asking you to stop " you told him " But I need something different .. Something permanent " you said 

You started to pull away but he kept you pressed against him . Then he was kissing you . It took you by surprise and for a second you froze.

But you soon melted against him opening up to him . You needed him to much to deny either one of you at this point. He groaned in responded and the sound had you trembling in his arms.  
He began to back you up slowly and you weren't aware of anything until you hit the bed with your legs and he was pushing down onto your back .

He was on top of you the next second his mouth barely leaving yours . Your body was ready for him but your mind was reeling .

"Dean " you managed to get out he raised his head to look down at you . " I want you to believe me when I say I want more with you . " he said " Only you "

His words had tears welling up in your eyes and you did the only thing you could do to tell him how you were feeling .You pulled him down into another kiss. 

"Only you " you whispered back in between kisses.


End file.
